Count it All Joy!

"Count it all joy, brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,

For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete,

Lacking in nothing."

James 1:2-4

This week, God has answered one of my most ardent requests. I got a job! I am now a cashier at Target! And I am super excited! I've been looking for a job for 6 months. And it was a very long time to wait. There were times that I just felt so discouraged and useless and very rejected. I can't even count how many applications I filled out, and I was pretty down on myself. Looking back on those months and months of rejection, I can see what God was trying to teach me.

1. Patience. I am just not a very patient person. I can be patient with other people, but very rarely with myself. I want things to go smoothly for me, so I can get right down to it, without much pain or frustration. Unfortunately, that just doesn't happen in real life. So learning to "go with the flow", and taking my trials and frustrations to God are CRUCIAL. He promises that He will work all things together for good, for those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). He doesn't promise that the good will come without hardship, but that it will come. Maybe not even until our eternal reward in heaven, but we can be assured that He will keep His promises. 
2. Trust. As I've said before, I have trust issues. I like to be in control, and that doesn't leave much room for letting Someone else control my life. But I was forced to do that in these past months. I had virtually no control over the decisions that were made. All I could do was show up and be myself, and pray that my personality fit their criteria. There were so many times before an interview that my hands were shaking so hard, and I couldn't control it, and God calmed me enough to get through the interview. (Oddly enough, I was completely calm for the Target interview...) I had to give it all to Him, and, in the end, it worked. It made me realize that nothing I did on my own could ever measure up. Only through Christ working through me am I ever able to do anything! Philippians 2:13 says "for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure." 
3. Priorities. I was listening to a sermon by John Pope, pastor of Refuge City Church (check them out on Facebook or their website if you haven't already... Amazing group of people!), and he made a point saying that when you value anything over Christ, it will inevitably lead to disappointment. Because nothing but Christ can truly satisfy and fulfill your expectations. Drugs, sex, alcohol, shopping, and even an unhealthy desire for a job will eventually lead to disappointment and depression. Not saying that getting a job is bad, it's not! But looking at it through the world's perspective, without an eternal, God-soaked perspective will only lead to depression. But Christ can never disappoint. 
4. Perseverance. This was a key lesson Christ taught me through this trial. There were so many times that I wanted to give up and just stop looking and stop filling out applications, because it never seemed to get anywhere. But God gave me the strength to keep going, and keep struggling. And it resulted in an eventual job! 

It was a hard chapter in my life, but all chapters come to an end, and there is always a "happily ever after" for Christians. If there were no struggles, the story wouldn't be as interesting, you wouldn't learn, and Christ would not be glorified. So be encouraged, if you're going through a difficult chapter. There's a light at the end of the tunnel! Christ has not forsaken you, and He promises that He never will! This trial will come to an end, as all trials do, and you will be able to look back and appreciate what God has accomplished.

To Live with All my Might

"Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live." That is a quote from Jonathan Edwards, a man who lived over 300 years ago, who died relatively early in life, at age 54. But, though he died young, he led an incredible life. He made a list of resolutions in his early twenties (very inspirational ones, by the way. It's very worth reading them all.), and he followed them to the best of his abilities.

I wonder sometimes, though, what does it mean to "live with all my might"? How can you possibly live without might?? Well, these are just my humble thoughts on the matter, and I hope that they serve as encouragement to anyone out there who has the same struggle I have!

• Live like Christ is returning today! 

     I recently finished reading Crazy Love, by Francis Chan, and he told a story about his grandmother-in-law. He went to a play with some relatives, including Grandma Clara. He asked her how she liked it, and she replied "I just don't know if this is where I want to be when Christ returns. I'd rather be helping someone or on my knees praying. I don't want Him to return and find me sitting in a theater." That just really stuck with me, and i find myself asking the question "Is this what I want to be doing when Jesus comes back?" Not that watching tv shows or going to plays are sinful things, in small amounts, but they can sometimes get in the way of God's desire and His commands for my life. And it isn't as if He isn't with me every second of every day, that He won't see me watching Doctor Who, instead of doing my daily devotional, but for some reason (and I don't know if this is the wrong mindset or not) it is more intimidating to think of Him actually physically IN the room with me. And I want to be following His plan for my life, when that happens! I want to be making a difference in some small way! First Thessalonians 5:6 tells us to "keep awake and be sober" for the Second Coming. Be aware that it can come "like a thief in the night" (1 Thess. 5:2). Be prepared.

• Don't wallow in regret for things that have already happened.

     We all make mistakes. But Christ DIED for those mistakes! Regretting that they happened isn't going to reverse the effect or the fact that it happened, instead, it almost says to God "Your Gift wasn't good enough!" And I have problems with this, so I'm not being all judgmental or anything, but just presenting another perspective. I don't really have any biblical back-up for this opinion, just putting together that God sent His Son for a reason, and that reason is our sins. "As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us." (Psalm 103:12)

• Trust the Lord with every aspect of your life.

     This, for me, is the most challenging. I like to be in control, and know what's happening, what will happen, and why something happened the way it did. So that doesn't leave a whole lot of room for trust. In fact, this is something you can pray for me about, that i WILL have trust in God's will for my life, and that I won't doubt His intentions. Knowing that God has my life planned in the perfect way takes a lot of worry off my shoulders, and allows for a freer life. That well-known verse from Proverbs comes to mind: "Trust in the Lord will all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." (3:5-6). In ALL your ways. That means that there is no aspect of your life that should worry you. You don't need to worry about who you'll marry. You don't have to worry about if you'll get a job. You don't need to worry about getting the money you need to pay off your debts. Et'cetera. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't DO things about your issues; you are to use the means that God has given you. It just means that once you have done all you can do, God will take care of the rest. Pray and have faith, and all these things shall be added unto you.

• Do something for someone! 

     If you see someone in need, help them! I struggle with this one as well (I struggle with all of them, but i just point out the ones I have the most trouble with.). I see a man with a cardboard sign on a street corner, and I think that I should help them. But i make excuses, like "Well, I would, but I'm late for class" or "They might kidnap me" (use discretion with who you help. If they just look like they're up to no good, probably best that a young girl doesn't help by herself.). I am going to try to be more conscious of the needs of others, and do what I can to help them. (Not just the homeless guy on the corner. That was just one example.) Jesus said "as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me."

These are really only a few examples of things to do to live a meaningful life. I'm having trouble remembering all of the ones I came up with right now haha. But the crux of the matter is to do what God commands! Trust Him, serve Him, obey Him, and pray to Him. He will do the rest. I want to be the person that displays God's glory for all to see. I want people to see a difference in me, and I want them to look to Christ because of that. I want to be a candle in the blackest night; illuminating the darkness with the Hope of Christ. (I know this sounds selfish, but I hope you understand my meaning.)

I'm also reading Don't Waste Your Life, by John Piper, and I want to leave you with two quotes from that book.

"We waste our lives when we do not pray and think

and dream and plan and work toward magnifying God in ALL spheres of life."

"The wasted life is the life without a passion for the supremacy of God

in all things for the joy of all peoples."

   

Prepare yourself for a chaotic blog post...

Since it's been about 13 years since I posted, I thought I'd present you all with a little update on my life right now. Because you're all DYING to know what I'm doing. Yeah. So here are my interesting (more or less) thoughts.

I have decided to go into Early Childhood Education as a major. Beware, this is subject to change. Again. I think I've changed my mind about majors about 6 times in the past 9 months. So we'll see how long this one lasts. But I am feeling relatively excited about this decision, though there are still doubts in my mind. I've started an ECE (that's code for "Early Childhood Education" for those of us Ed junkies. Just kidding. That's just the course name.) class as the local college here in DYT (that is slang for Dayton. For those of us Daytonians. Truly.), and I actually really enjoy it! So hopefully that is......... foreboding? Not foreboding. I can't think of the right word. GAH.It's like a GOOD foreboding! Oh well. Good thing I'm looking into teaching Kindergarteners, so I don't have to be smart teach hard words. At least I have wit. That's way more important than having brains. Sometimes, I think I'm actually blonde... Anyway, the important thing is that I have decided my major. I think.

I am also looking for a job, and have been for about 5 months (thanks, Obama, for the great economy and for creating so many jobs!). Why does college have to be so expensive? Anyway, please just pray that I can find a job!

I'll post later with a more inspirational post... Also, as a side note, I composed this in about 5 minutes, so excuse any spelling errors or senseless ramblings. A more serious post is coming! Can't say how soon.... Probably about 7 months. So don't set your hearts on the fact that I will post, like, tomorrow. Because I can almost promise you I won't. Thank you, to you devoted readers that read this dysfunctional essay through to the end. You're the best. Also, if you've ever wondered what my brain looks like, this is about it. So, you're curiosity has been assuaged. You're welcome.

Trapezes

Well guys, I'm finished!! I am officially no longer a high school student... But neither am I a college student. Stuck between two trapezes, as a line from a Coldplay song reads. So, yesterday, after writing my final period that I will ever write in high school, and after twirling around my room in ecstasy, and after collapsing on my bed, I reflected on what has happened to me through the years. First of all, simply the fact that I completed high school left me in shock, and then everything I've been through in my high school years. I started playing volleyball in my freshman year, and I can remember so clearly the first time I ever walked into that gym for the first practice. Some of the girls I met that day are, today, my best friends (I particularly remember this chipper girl named Bethany who pushed me through my first practice ;) ). Then the year after that, my sister left for Taiwan, and, frankly, that was one of the hardest years of my life. Bethany has always been my best friend; someone I can talk to no matter what (however she mocks me. Hah), and letting her go was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But, if she had never gone to Taiwan, chances are, I would never have gone to Taiwan, and my trips to Taiwan have been some of the most life-changing experiences in my life. I've met so many people there, people whose friendships I will treasure forever, and God has shown me so many things about myself through those trips. One, that I would ever have the courage to fly across an ocean on a 13 hour flight, sitting next to a complete stranger. Two, that I could get over my shyness, and actually have relationships with the people I met there. And three, that I can trust Him to get me through anything. I mean, if He can get me through Chicago's airport, from one terminal to the other in half an hour, when I've lost just about all of my hearing (don't go on a 13 hour flight when you have a cold... Just sayin...), JUST in time to board my flight, He can do everything ;). But seriously, I will treasure those times in Taiwan forever. And last of all, I want to acknowledge my parents, who, even when I was the most difficult person in the world (which I was quite frequently, unfortunately), never left my side. They always guided me back and stuck with me. Thank you so much. Y'all are the best parents in the world :) I've done things I regret in those four short years, but I've learned from them, and God's given me the grace to move on. Thank you to everyone who supported me through the years, and please pray that I'll have wisdom regarding my future. But for now, I'll hang out in the gap, between the two trapezes, and trust God to guide me. 


Coldplay-Every Tear is a Waterfall

Update on my life!

Well, all of my posts so far have been reflections, so this one will be a little update on my life now. Senior year. Pretty exciting right? Yeah, and stressful. Definitely underestimated that aspect.. Haha. I've always had it in the back of my head that I would be doing something with music... It's something I love to do, and it was something easy to tell people when they asked me what I wanted to do with my life. But I've started to realize that this might not be the direction God wants me to take. Which means rethinking my whole future. It's definitely been a test, and God is definitely using it to make me trust Him. With everything. And honestly, it's really really hard. I like to be in control, but that's just not possible.


Anyway, right now, I'm thinking I'll get my Associates degree from Sinclair (Dayton's community college, for those of you who aren't local), without declaring a major. Unless I get a fabulous scholarship for my SAT scores. And then I have the issue of deciding on a major (and I'm leaning toward Child Care now...). So I would be SO appreciative of your prayers as I take my tentative steps into my future. I feel  like there's nothing harder than stepping into the unknown... But I have the Lord, and I know He is always at my right hand. 

A letter of Recommendation... For Christ

"You yourselves are a letter of recommendation, written on your hearts, to be known and read by all. And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." -2 Corinthians 3:1-3


So I read that passage last night for my devotions, and I just thought it was SO COOL! And these are just a few of my thoughts on that. First of all, how cool is it that we, as Christians, are, in a sense, letters of recommendation for Christ?? Well, I think it's pretty darn cool! He has changed us so completely, and we are witnesses of His work in our lives!  


And just the language of the passage is a reference to the change in our lives: "...written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone, but on tablets of HUMAN HEARTS." Those last two words can be translated "fleshly hearts", and in Ezekiel 11, verse 19, it says "I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh." Our transformation is often described this way: a replacement of a heart of stone with a heart of flesh. 


In my reference Bible, Hebrews 8:10 is one of the verses that is listed along with the 2nd Corinthians passage. And it says: "I will put my laws into their minds, and write them on their hearts..." 


So, what I gathered from these verses is that the transformation in our lives should be SO obvious, it's as if the words of God's Law are written on our fleshly hearts. We should be so demonstrative of God's mercy in our lives, we should be a living, walking letter of recommendation for Christ! 

Blessed be the name of the Lord!

This post is inspired by my father's sermon, preached yesterday. (You can find it at this link: http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=219121611542. I would highly recommend listening to it.)


My dad started a series on Job, and the very first sermon so completely convicted me... It was on the first chapter, and what really struck me, was the attitude with which Job responded to his trials. He lost all of his livestock, his servants, and, worst of all, his ten children. Any one of these would be so terrible by itself, but to have all of them happen on the same day, within minutes of each other, would be absolutely devastating. Especially the loss of every one of his children. You would think he'd respond the way Satan hoped and expected he'd respond: by cursing God. But he doesn't. On the contrary, he responded by worshiping the Lord! ("Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped." [Job 1:20])


How much less have I suffered, and how much worse my response been. These were my thoughts throughout the sermon. I recalled losing a favorite stuffed animal as a child, or tearing a page in my favorite book, or even suffering through my first asthma attack. All these seem so trivial compared to what Job went through, yet, I know my first inclination was not to fall down and worship God. 


I'm so grateful that God wrote down this story for us, as an example of how we should act when faced with various trials. Job is an inspiration, and a godly example of what our attitude should be in the midst of our suffering. I can only pray that my first response will be to exclaim "Blessed be the Name of the Lord!" (Job 1:21)


I loved the quote my dad finished his sermon with, and I will finish my blog post with the same: 

"Worship is the true and best use of afflictions.

But only a true believer will find a cross to be the source of thanksgiving."

-Derek Thomas