My Pretend Paradise

Several weeks ago, I had the urge to write before I went to bed. It's like therapy, and writing in song form helps me get my thoughts straightened out. To be honest, I'm in a good place in my life at the moment. I have a great job, and even better friends.... I'm enjoying my life and the people around me, maybe too much. But that is the muse behind this song... Using the idea that when things are easy is when it's hardest to draw near to God, because, for me, I feel like I don't need Him. So, I hope you enjoy my hastily written lyrics and try to ignore the non-rhyming stanzas.

There were days when nothing worked,

When nothing went my way.

It was then that I found You,

In the midst of the rain

You showed me the way back

And never let me go.

It was easy to hold on 

When letting go meant falling.

And now we've come to the hard part;

The part where everything's fine.

When I'm not holding on

And nothing's going wrong.

It's then I need You most,

It's then I'm in danger to fall.

So find me here,

In my pretend paradise.

Where everything I do is right.

I need You most when I don't want you;

When I think I know best.

So don't let me go.

Please don't let me go.

So that is what I wrote, and maybe I'm alone in this, but it seems like when things are really rough, when I have no other option, that's when I find God, and really want to be with Him. It's when things are easy and I have friends and things just seem to go my way that I really desperately need Him. He never lets go of me, but I let go of Him, and I think that His hand holding me up is somehow something that I am doing. But it's not. It never is me. 

James 4:4 says "Whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." That's a sobering thought, but that's basically what I'm doing when I say that my way is better, and I would rather be in control than let God, who is the experienced pilot, guide my life. A few verses later, James tells us "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you... Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you." (8, 10) God wants us to want Him. That is what we're created to do! But we must let go of the notion that we're in control, and let God draw us near to Him.

God will use ANYONE!

The other day, I was reading Matthew 1, which is the geneology of Joseph, the husband of Christ's mother, Mary. I've never really enjoyed reading geneologies, and I typically skim over the hundreds of names to get to the "real stuff". But this time, for whatever reason, I read the passage carefully, taking time to read each name. And now, believe it or not, it's one of my favorite passages! Now what, you may ask, is so interesting about a list of names? It's the NAMES. The people. The circumstances that these individuals endured, and the lives they lived. Three names in particular stood out to me: Tamar, Rahab, and "the wife of Uriah" (Bathsheba).

All three of these women had immoral interactions with men; Tamar and Rahab were actual prostitutes, and Bathsheba was disloyal to her husband. What's amazing to me is that God used these women, who were viewed as shameful and disgraceful, as links in the line of Christ! He can use the broken, the unwanted, the SINNERS. He can and He DOES. God will use anyone!

This was just so encouraging and awesome, and I wanted to share my thoughts with my readers, as I haven't posted in a while!